Funny you should ask.

One day I was screening the film for a couple of independent dommes who had both at some point in their lives worked in houses, just so get an insider reaction. While I expected them to have an informed critical analysis, I did not expect one of them to invite me to start actively working again, only this time with clients who had been (gasp) well-screened.

The conversation when something like this.

Her: Do you want to come work with me?

Me: Did you not just watch the two hour movie where I was really bad at this…

Her: I doubt you were bad at it. And I think you’d be fantastic at it now.

Here’s a great way to determine personal growth over a decade. Domme a little in your mid-twenties, stop domming, beat yourself up for a while, make a feature film, and then return to the work in your mid-thirties. Realize that the only reason you stopped was because you lacked a requisite amount of self-knowledge and because your safety was not the dungeon’s first priority. Realize that under ideal conditions — and with full acceptance that until decriminalization is a reality and stigmatization a memory, a totally safe workplace isn’t an option — YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE STOPPED. (Although you still would have been a filmmaker, only your first feature would have been a madcap-musical-theater-dramedic-extravaganza starring a kinky dance troupe and Chris Pratt. Or something.)

So it’s been about three years since I’ve been working again. It’s not my only income or even the majority of my income, but it is a welcome source of grocery money for an indie filmmaker. I don’t publicize my work name because, honestly, if you were a client would you want to session with the woman who made a two hour tell all where the clients don’t exactly get a 100% glowing portrayal? Me neither. Also how’s that for a switch… my work name is the secret. 😉

Anyway, if you thought I condemned the industry, nope. I don’t. I do condemn the politics and bullshit that make the work less safe than it should be, and hope that being as out as possible will do some good.